I tend to live my life a little bit differently from your average person. It may just be my perspective or it may be my choices. The two are certainly tied together.
I am a perfectionist. This is why I continue writing and rewriting. Day in and day out. I write. I paint. I draw. I rarely show any of it to anyone. Unless it’s as close to perfect as I can make it, I never show anyone my creative work. I really ought to work on that, but unless someone were to ask specifically and I were to trust them explicitly, I doubt that’ll change.
I’m ADD. Yes, this means that I want everything to be perfect, but not for long. For most people, it takes about 30 seconds for them to realize I have ADD, for others it takes days. No matter what, it does impact my life. I listen most of the time and I try to be focused on things, but some days it’s just not possible. Every little sound or movement draws my attention. Other days, depending on what I’m doing, I’m so focused you have to touch me to gain my attention. Considering I’m jumpy, it can lead to interesting situations. My attention or lack-thereof can really annoy some of my friends. I wish I could say that it’s something I could control, but it’s not. I meditate each day. That’s about as good as I can get. Medications for ADD and I are not friends and I rather like being me.
I’m a dreamer. I can’t really stop myself. I’m always looking for something magical. Something that touches my soul. It doesn’t matter if it’s a person or a place. I’m always trying for something a bit unusual, whether that be a new city or writing a novel. I’m always a bit in my head, but sometimes the best thing in the world is being on my own in a city I don’t know well. This is why, when everyone walks away in groups, I walk off on my own.
I’m an adventurer. I will always try for the next experience I have not had. I am someone who looks for ways to travel, ways to see new things, and ways to meet new people. I wander around, always lost but never aimless. There’s always something that I’m working towards and a place that I want to be. It’s rarely where I actually am. I’m never happier than when I’m moving around on land, sea, or air. I’m always looking for someone to go on adventures with me. Who knows if I’ll find that person one day, but until then, I will keep moving.
I never do anything halfway. This includes breaking myself, performing, falling in love, writing, or teaching. I have never been someone to do anything by halves. When I do something, I go whole hog. It’s why I’m loyal to my friends until after it’s really healthy for me. It’s why I stand up for my kids. It’s why I binge-watch tv programs. It’s why I have fun with cooking, baking, and painting. It’s why I love to entertain people. What can I say…it’s more fun to do things all the way than to do them half-assed. It’s why people either love me or can’t figure me out. It’s also why the very few people who hate me (I can think of three) feel the way they do.
Such is life…