"Sail" by AWOLNATION
So, I know that I don’t usually post songs on here, but this one has been playing in my head on the music track almost exclusively for the past 72 hours. For those of you who know me, you know how rare it is for a song to stick with me like that. I found it by watching Break ton Neck on one of my dance video searches. The way that kid combines yoga and break dancing is both bizarre and amazing. However, the thing that really captured my attention was the music. There are a few reasons for it–and I’m not sure I really know all the reasons it’s sticking–but one is the music and the guy’s voice, another is the music video (which really is a trip), and the other is the mention of ADD. Never heard a song where that is featured so prominently. I’m going to give you the video, lyrics, and break down what I think he’s talking about from the perspective of ADD and the lyrics. (The video brings up paranoia, Illuminati, aliens, and any number of things all of which can be put down as allegories for just about any sort of issue or problem someone is face where they feel that they are under pressure and segmented off from the rest of society because of how they see the world. So, I’m sticking with ADD since it’s the only thing actually mentioned by name in the song.)
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Sail!
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Every time he uses this I think of “sail away” or being able to walk off, something that Aaron Bruno (the lead singer) says earned him the nickname of AWOL in high school. He’s also mentioned the Styx song “Come Sail Away” as an influence.
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This is how I show my love
I made it in my mind because I blame it on my ADD baby
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When a person has ADD (or any sort of learning disability, really) the way they interact with people is atypical. Their brain chemistry works differently and it is sometimes harder to express feelings or to control how those feelings are expressed.
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This is how an angel cries
I blame it on my own supply Blame it on my ADD baby
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In this case, I read it as he did or said something that has made the other person cry and he’s blaming it on the fact that the chemicals in his brain don’t work quite right. There are a few theories on why ADD occurs (no one knows the cause for sure), one being that there is too much of something in the brain and another that there is too little. Either way, it’s a supply and demand issue.
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Sail!
Sail! Sail! Sail! Sail! Maybe I should cry for help
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Obviously, with the way I’m interpreting “Sail” the urge to run away is pretty strong here.
If the first line is him wondering if he should ask for help because he’s not sure if he can handle what’s going on. Then the second line is him wondering if the suffering he puts people through is worth it.
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Maybe I’m a different breed
Maybe I’m not listening So blame it on my ADD baby
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For me, the key to this verse is the word “Maybe”. People with ADD often feel like they’re not quite in sync with the rest of the world. Hence, the first line. Maybe he’s something different from the rest of the people around him. Also, those with ADD are often accused of not listening because it’s almost impossible to tune out background noise. To me, this line reads as someone throwing a line back at someone in anger. Like, sure, maybe I’m not listening, but maybe I can’t listen. In other words, it’s not that he tries to hurt the other person by not listening or doing something time and time again, it’s a result of the ADD that he wishes he could fix so that they could feel like they are on the same page.
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Sail!
Sail! Sail! Sail! Sail! La la la la la la oh! La la la la la la oh! Sail! |
Basically, the need to get away.
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Sail with me into the dark
Sail! Sail with me into the dark Sail! Sail with me into the dark Sail! Sail with me, sail with me Sail! |
Here, I think of it as asking the other person to come with him into the unknown. He doesn’t know that he won’t hurt the person again, but he’s asking them to stay with him just the same.
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So, perhaps I’m reading too much into this. But it pretty solidly relates to the way ADD works for a lot of people. You can also interpret it for almost any learning disability (or mental illness, for that matter). When your brain works differently, it can be hard to relate to those around you in a way that is understandable to them. It may make sense in your head, but it doesn’t mean that it’s easy for others to get.
When I was tested for ADD it took months for them to give me a diagnosis. My friend Jonathan Toomey looked at me and laughed. His response when I told him that they gave me a diagnosis was, “You had to get tested to learn that? I could’ve told you that the first day I met you. Have they never tried to have a conversation with you?” According to a lot of my friends, my “high IQ and ADD make for interesting conversations” (granted, I point out each time someone says that that they can’t test my IQ accurately because of the different learning disabilities and my friends just roll their eyes and say, “It’s obvious” or “Why do you think I have to ask you to slow down and explain again?” Personally, I think it’s because I jump around so much in my explanations, but whatever they want to think, I’ll go with.)
My ADD is also part of why I don’t sleep well, part of why a lot of people can’t hold my attention that long, and part of why it’s taking me so bloody long to finish my books. When you’re a perfectionist with ADD, writing a novel that’s up to snuff is like training an elephant to paint. It can be done, it’s just going to take some serious time and effort. In my case, over 16 years to get the first book done (edits and rewrites are still ongoing). Nevermind the fact that I have no sense of conventional time, when it comes to 16 years, I notice that.
However, there are some good things that come with my ADD. I notice details that other people don’t. I overhear conversations without meaning to and pick up on the phrases and sounds that they make for specific accents. I notice things visually that others don’t, so while we’re talking I will notice the bird in the sky, the puddle on the ground with the leaves in it, and the squirrel in the tree. While this can make walking with me a real pain when I have a camera in hand, I do get some truly beautiful shots of everyday things that other people don’t notice until I show them the beauty in a manhole or a leaf by the hospital. This also means that my writing is very sensory rich (often I have to take details out because it’s overload for normal people). Beyond details of our world, I also have knowledge of a lot of different things. When topics don’t hold your attention for long periods but you are endlessly curious, you learn a lot of information that other people don’t and because I’ve learned them in small bits, I remember them. The other benefit of my form of ADD (and yes, there is more than one kind) is that I can become hyper-focused. When I get this way, it’s a zone where nothing else exists. I don’t hear my music or the background noises. I don’t see anything but what I’m working on. This means that I can be working on my writing or art and you may be in the same room talking to me for a half hour and I won’t notice you. People have been known to touch me (which makes me jump half out of my skin) or throw a pillow or stuffed animal at me to get my attention when I’m in the zone. I have no idea when these times are going to be and no control over if they happen or not. But when they do, I can get work done so rapidly it kind of blows my mind.
Anyhow, that’s my interpretation of “Sail” by AWOLNATION and the reason I see it the way I do. Sorry for the loooooong post.